


i'd burn this city down (just to show you the light)

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Amnesia, Angst, Car Accidents, Depressed Zayn, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Multi, Sad Niall, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 22:52:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>niall is in a car crash. zayn has to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'd burn this city down (just to show you the light)

**Author's Note:**

> kinda orphaned the other one...  
> here's a new one!!
> 
> starts with fluff and yeah sad at the end.

     Zayn stretched out underneath the covers, smiling to himself when the familiar feel of soft skin brushed against his legs, and even more so when he opened one of his eyes and saw the blond that he’d grown to love lying next to him, sprawled out over the mattress with a lopsided cover shielding part of his chest. He shuffled close to the boy, draping an arm over his chest and nuzzled his head into his shoulder, pressing a small kiss to the edge of his jaw.

     “Good morning,” He whispered, looking up as the blond shuffled about in his sleep, slowly working his eyes open. Zayn smiled when Niall looked up at the ceiling and he could just see the shining of his blue eyes reflecting from the sunlight, making them look shinier and glossier than usual. “Breakfast?” He asked, trailing his finger up and down the centre of Niall’s chest.

     Niall turned his head to the side and looked down at Zayn with a small nod, but cuddled further into his boyfriend’s frame instead. “In a minute, you’re warm.” He mumbled, pulling the covers back over them.

     “Ni, we can’t. You have to be out in thirty minutes.” Zayn sighed, propping himself up on one of his elbows and checked the clock to the side, frowning when he realised his statement was true. It sucked sometimes how he and Niall had completely different timetables, so they barely ever got to see each other until Friday night’s and the weekend, and if there was the rare occasion where their lecture times would change.

     “Thirty minutes? That’s ages.” Niall grinned, pulling Zayn down from behind his neck and pressed a small kiss to his lips, smiling when Zayn let it linger for longer.

     “For you. That’s coming from the person who gets ready in five minutes and eats his breakfast on the way to his first lecture, probably in the middle of it. Normal people, like me, take much longer.” Zayn rolled his eyes, staying close to Niall and kept pressing light kisses back onto his lips.

     “I still look good in the five minutes.” Niall shrugged.

     “Indeed. But no, get up.” Zayn smirked and stood up, pulling the covers right off Niall and chuckled when the blond groaned, and just curled up into Zayn’s pillow instead.

     “No.” Niall huffed, snuggling his face away.

     “You have five minutes before I dig up one of Lou’s water guns and spray you.” Zayn smiled, pulling one of Niall’s jerseys on and kissed him again before walking out to the small kitchen area. It was both of their third year of university, and last year him and Niall both moved in to a separate dorm. It started off with there being the five of them, Liam, Louis, Harry, Zayn and Niall, who were all close friends from high school and ended up attending the same university. Sometime in the first year Harry and Louis got together, in the second; him and Niall. It worked out so that Harry, Louis and Liam had a dorm next to theirs, and Zayn and Niall had their own, and Zayn liked it a lot. He liked having the kind of domestic relationship that he and Niall shared; it made everything seem more real. The kisses in the morning and the sharing of the clothes, the things that they used to be judged or laughed at when they shared a room with the guys and the others from the block. He considered them quite lucky that the only thing they had to share with the others’ was a kitchen, because everything else would be awful.

     The only bad thing, to Zayn, about the whole university thing was how they were doing courses in the same bands as each other. Zayn had come to study art, with a focus on the fine and traditional, whereas Niall had come for to major in music. Because they were both considered ‘creative’ topics, the lectures were basically at the same time, with Zayn’s starting an hour later to Niall’s, so he finished an hour later. And along with Niall taking a part time job at the local record shop and Zayn taking up work in the coffee place, the only time they got to spend with each other was taken up by essays and work, or some random party they were invited too.

     “Zayn!” Zayn turned to face the source of the voice that forced him out of his metal sadness, and smiled with a small wave when he saw Louis, his hair messy and dishevelled, and something that he could recognise as one of Harry’s jumpers resting lowly over his shoulders.

     “Hey, Lou. Early morning?” Zayn asked, confused because usually Louis didn’t wake up until five minutes before Zayn left, which was at least nearly an hour away. It was rare he would actually see any of the lads on days where they all had lectures or jobs.

     “Nah, not really. Haz is complaining because he has a cold, wanted me to get him some capsules.” Louis shrugged, shuffling behind Zayn to get to the cabinets which they kept their large stock of medicine in. Zayn was a little bit of a perfectionist and they had at least one bottle of every kind of medicine out there, along with a bunch of capsules and tablet boxes lurking around in there.

     “Ah, shame. Paracetamol and Advil are to the right, I think.” Zayn noted, starting out on frying some eggs and making toast, making the usual breakfast that Niall would rush to eat every morning before he ran out the door, often with a piece of toast still in his hands. (And Zayn would always count three seconds before Niall would run back in and kiss him and leave again, but he never mentioned that part to anybody.)

     “Oh, cheers. How’s Ni? Haven’t had time to talk to him in a while, he’s been doing extra shifts at the record shop, right?” Louis questioned, popping out two of the green and yellow capsules for Harry, filling up a glass of water as well.

     “He’s good, we’re good. And yeah, he’s working two more hours Monday to Wednesday, so he’s not really back until eight-ish, and you’re either out or in your dorm by that time.” Zayn shrugged, glancing over at Louis with a frown.

     “Ah, thought so. Usually saw his car in the lot, but it doesn’t seem to be there anymore.” Louis murmured, picking up the capsules and water in one hand, patting Zayn’s bum when he shut the cabinet and walked back off to their dorm, leaving Zayn alone again, only for a few minutes because he was greeted with a kiss to his cheek when Niall came out.

     “You ruined it.” Zayn pouted, turning around and leaned against the counter as he draped his arms over Niall’s shoulders and hooked his hands together behind his neck.

     “Ruined what?” Niall chuckled, moving to the side and lifted Zayn up onto the counter, not minding that he was now higher up to him.

     “Breakfast in bed. But you look cute, you going out like that?” Zayn smiled, playing with the hem of Niall’s jumper.

     “Well isn’t it nicer that I’m here and awake, early? And yeah, is that okay? Your jumper was just on the floor and looked warm, and anyway. You’re wearing one of my old jerseys so we’re even.” Niall smiled, standing up on his tip-toes to kiss Zayn’s nose.

     “It’s perfectly fine. You look adorable. And whatever, you ruined breakfast anyway, so now that you’re here you can finish it and also make me hot chocolate because you’re never awake this early.” Zayn smiled, swinging his legs and watched at Niall moved to the side and finished up the food, buttering his toast and flicked on the kettle.

     “Only because I love you.”

     “And you love me a lot so you don’t care.” Zayn smirked, holding onto the ends of the jersey so he was fully submerged in it. It was times like his he liked being a little smaller and thinner than Niall, because all his clothes would be bigger as Niall always bought a size too big, and he was literally covered in the smell of Niall.

     Niall smiled and poured a mug of coffee for him and a mug of hot chocolate for Zayn and handed Zayn his, biting his tongue so he wouldn’t spill the drink everywhere and get it over them both and the floor. “Here. What time do you get off tonight? I booked half the day off work and I only have one lecture so I should be back for five, I was thinking we could have a movie and pizza night.” Niall shrugged, picking at pieces of the food as he looked up at Zayn.

     Zayn smiled softly and nodded, holding the mug between his hands and let the warmth accompany the heat he was getting from the jersey. “Six, I think. Maybe earlier, so yeah. We can do that. Something to get me through the day.” Zayn chuckled, not helping the smile he had because it was nice to be able to spend at least some time with Niall, even if it was a few hours.

     “Good. I’ll order in pizza, and yes I know you’ll want the Hawaiian with extra pineapple and the cheesy crust.” Niall rolled his eyes, interfering before Zayn could question him on that.

     “You know me _so_ well.” Zayn grinned, hopping off the counter and pulled Niall into a hug, wrapping his arms around his waist and hid his face into his chest. Zayn preferred when they hugged like this, only because he got to smell Niall, and he smelt different all the time but there was always the flicker of honey no matter what type of cologne he was wearing. And Zayn melted inside hen the aroma he got was a vanilla crossed with mint, and deliberately took longer because it reminded him of Christmas, that certain smell.

     “I know I do, but I should go.” Niall frowned; rubbing small circles into Zayn’s back, deliberately running his fingers through the definite gap of between his shoulder blades (which also happened to be his favourite spot to kiss Zayn.)

     “I don’t want you to go.” Zayn whined, tightening his grip so Niall couldn’t leave, but he knew the attempt would fail because Niall would always be stronger than him, no matter how hard he actually tried.

     “Sorry, baby. Have too,” Niall mumbled, carefully prying Zayn’s fingers off his back, and linked their two hands together instead. “Have fun, and don’t get distracted by the differences in two shades of blue.”

     Zayn scoffed and rolled his eyes. “That never happens,” He said quietly, rising onto his tiptoes to press a kiss to Niall’s lips. “Love you.”

     “Love you more.”

     “Never… Now drive safe.” Zayn smiled, letting go of Niall because even though he didn’t want him to leave, he would get into a lot of trouble if he missed a day, or was late by even a minute, and knowing Niall he would probably still go to a random café and buy another breakfast, so it was best to let him go earlier.

     “I will, always do.” Niall smiled, picking up a jacket that he left strewn across the couch from last night, pulled it over his shoulders and flicked up the collars like he usually did before going out.

     “Tonight for certain?” Zayn double-checked, letting out a small sigh when the blond nodded.

     “Definitely. Bye, love.” Niall pressed another kiss to Zayn’s lips and picked up his guitar case, checking that he had everything he needed before walking to the door.

     “Love you long time.” Zayn grinned, leaning to the side so he could still see him.

     “You make no sense, love you.” Niall rolled his eyes and shut the door, and once again Zayn was left on his own. It was usually at these times that he would spend a little while working on essays or projects that weren’t due for weeks, but he didn’t have the emotion to right now. He was just excited, too excited to work or focus on anything apart from actual university work.

     It’s fair to say that by the time Zayn had to leave for the bus, he was rushing to finish some brainstorm sketches.

                                                                                  *

     It was boring at his class, the only good thing was that the professor was really chill and didn’t really care if he wasn’t focusing, because even if Zayn didn’t have the notes he would still be the first person to hand in the essay. Anyway, Zayn was better in the practical part of work anyway, he was never really interested in the _writing_ aspect of everything.

     “Malik.” Zayn looked up; a little flustered because he had been busy doodling around one of his tattoo’s the way Niall would if he ever had a marker. He had a small cream coloured dot around one of his tattoo’s that was there for decoration, but the artist put it in the wrong place, much to Zayn’s annoyance, but Niall loved it. He would always make it into a little person with different hats each time, and whenever Zayn was bored or lonely he would do that.

     “Yes, sir?” He asked, a little shy now because everyone seemed to be looking at him in a weird way, and he wasn’t sure why. When he managed to catch up to real time, he saw that there was nothing he was supposed to be answering, but that the professor was holding a note and there was Liam standing beside his desk.

     “You’re needed.” The man dismissed, scrunching the note up and threw it into the bin, and slowly Zayn came to his senses and stood up, packing away his pencils and canvases before walking down the steps, feeling like each one echoed louder than the one before until he was crossing in front of the desk to Liam. He had no clue what was going on, he was never needed for anything unless it was an art thing, and as much as Zayn new, there was nothing going on.

     “Li? What’s going on?” Zayn asked quietly, seeing as lectures were still going on and students weren’t really supposed to walk along the halls unless they had permission, and Zayn didn’t know if Liam had that or not.

     “Niall.” Liam mumbled, and Zayn swore he could see red under his eyes and dried up tears along the milky skin on his cheeks.

     “Niall?” Zayn repeated, this all adding to his confusion. He didn’t know what to expect, really at the mention of Niall’s name. For all Zayn new, Niall was in the middle of a lecture or performance, and there wouldn’t really be anything the matter with him.

     Liam just shook his head, pulling Zayn by his wrist out to the main reception, where he was met by Louis and Harry both crowded around the front desk with a very flustered receptionist scribbling things down on a notepad.

     “What’s going on?” Zayn asked, his voice wavering at points because something was up and if it as concerning _Niall_ , he wanted to be part of it all. He tore his hand away of Liam and looked between Harry and Louis. Harry who as holding onto Louis’ sleeve like there was nothing else in the world, with glassy eyes and messed up hair, and Louis who looked tired as hell with blood shot eyes and a pale looking face.

     “Niall… There was something involving a truck and his car, he’s in the hospital…” Louis mustered out, wiping his free arm across his eyes to capture the tears before they had chance to fall. Meanwhile, Zayn’s heart _stopped._

     For a moment it seemed time froze, that everybody in the office had stopped moving, and the only thing that existed was Zayn’s heartbeat, which was rapidly getting faster with each beat. He wished he misheard what Louis said, but there was so much emotion behind the words that it was hard to not believe him.

     “What.” Zayn blurted out, holding onto the counter with a nice like grip that if he moved his hand he would tear some of the wood off of it.

     “Which one of you is the boyfriend? Because you’re the emergency contact and they couldn’t contact you via the number, and they would like to speak to you urgently, preferably in person.” The receptionist weakly smiled, placing a hand over the microphone to her phone and glanced between the four boys in front of her. Hesitantly, Zayn raised his hand and stepped forwards, blinking his eyes so his tears didn’t come. It hit him now, that _his_ Niall was hurt, _his_ baby was somewhere where he wasn’t.

     “Okay, sweetheart. Which lecture did you just come from?” She asked, holding out a tissue for Zayn which he took but didn’t use.

     “History of art, Professor Darwood.” Zayn whispered, staring at the floor.

     “Alright. There’s an ambulance outside that had picked up some things from the collision and is offering to take you all to the hospital. As soon as you get there you need to go to the nurses office and find a woman called Penny, okay?” She asked, holding out a sheet of information which Liam took. “I’ll tell all your professors for the rest of the day that you’ll be unable to attend.”

     Liam mumbled a quiet thank you and desperately pulled Zayn out of the office to the ambulance with the lights flashing already, but to Zayn, everything was a blur. He couldn’t focus, he didn’t know what to think, and he was more than grateful that Liam was there to direct him everywhere. As soon as the four of them were seated, Louis next to Harry and Zayn next to Liam, Zayn broke down.

     He just felt so, _so_ horrible that Niall was hurting and probably dying and Zayn wasn’t there to help him. And he wanted to scream at whoever crashed into Niall’s car, because they were most likely a foreign or drunk driver that wasn’t paying attention to where they were going, or thought the rules didn’t apply to them and then this happened.

     “Zee, Zayn.” Liam murmured, wrapping an arm around Zayn and let him cry into his chest a little, let the tears soak through his shirt and onto his skin, but Liam didn’t care. He was the one person who had really seen Niall and Zayn’s relationship grow, and how much they really relied on each other. So Liam new best out of everybody that if Niall was in a serious condition, Zayn would lose it all over again.

     “My fault…” Zayn murmured, viciously wiping at his eyes because this shouldn’t be happening. Not to him, to Niall or to them.

     “It’s not, Zayn. How could it be your fault?” Liam sighed, looking at the small, shaking frame of his best friend. Zayn shook his head and tightened his grip on Liam’s shirt, possibly adding creases that would need a lot of work to iron out.

     “Just is… Always is.” Zayn cried, continuing to just cry for the remaining journey, and he just wished that when he got there things wouldn’t be as bad as what he had a gut sensation they would be.

     Minutes seemed like hours to Zayn until the eventually turned up at the hospital, and his heart cracked even more at the sight of a few police cars and Niall’s bashed up car to the side, and Zayn couldn’t even begin to imagine the state Niall was in. He was pulled out of the horrible imaginations by Harry, who was tapping his shoulder and gesturing for him to come out. Zayn stood up on shaky legs and held onto Liam with the tight grip still, following behind the rest of them because he really didn’t want to go in here.

     The walls were the sickly white colour, the tiles completely lining the corridors with an occasional blue slab to add a spark of colour into the dreary room. Zayn didn’t see the point in adding the blue, it made no difference, really just made everything sadder because blue was a cold colour and cold colours are related to sadness, and yeah; Zayn wanted to shout at who chose the colour scheme for this hospital.

     “Penny? We’ve been told to find a Penny…” Louis blurted out, trying to catch his breath because he had been pulled Harry around and had been running in, even though there were signs that said not too. Who would walk when they knew someone close to them was injured or in pain?

     “That’s me!” A brunette smiled, holding a clipboard to her chest and pulled at her skirt to bring it further down her legs. Zayn didn’t know how she was all smiles when she was supposed to be looking after patients in the ICU.

     “Niall, Niall Horan?” Louis asked with a raised eyebrow, and Zayn could sense the annoyance that he had from her attitude and how happy she was. Zayn could understand her expression, he guessed it was regulation to always think positively because if the staff showed sadness, then maybe the visitors and patients would feel sad.

     “Oh,” Penny’s expression dropped. “Um, this way.” Her smile weakened, and she gestured down a corridor, and that was when Zayn took the front of the line, pulling Liam along with him because to him, he needed to be the first person to see Niall and look at him and remind him everything would be okay.

     Penny lead them to a small room with just one bed in it, and next to it was a variety of machines and a few doctors crowding around the figure who Zayn could only guess was Niall. “Please sit in the chairs in front of the bed, but the emergency contact, Zack I think the name was needs to be beside the bed when there’s space.” Penny smiled, waiting until they were all in before plodding off again.

     Zayn stood in the corner as one by one the doctors and people surrounding the  bed moved away, leaving only two of them there, a man and a woman, which also revealed the state Niall was in; and it made Zayn want to cry again.

     There were several cuts up and down Niall’s face, stitches around his temple and bandages wrapped around his arm. His leg was up in a supported cast, with one of his arms being levitated for a reason that Zayn couldn’t guess. But yet he still looked so _peaceful,_ and Zayn hated it because even though he was relaxed he was in pain, and Zayn wouldn’t be allowed to look after him like he usually would.

     “Zayn?” Someone asked, and Zayn looked up from the figure to one of the doctors who was gesturing to the chair placed right close to Niall’s bed. Zayn practically ran around to the chair and pounced into it, crossing his legs in an awkward manner but didn’t care, he was close to Niall again, and he felt a little more protective over him now he could see him in this state.

     “Before we give you the state or Mr Horan, I feel like it’s right to tell you what we think happened,” The female started, brushing a hand down her dress. “From witnesses, Mr Horan was waiting at a red light, and when it started to go green, he proceeded, but there was a truck coming from the other side, believed to be drunk, and he slammed right into the car, sending it doing a few flips, into another car and other things. Now, the state with Mr Horan. He has a completely broken leg which will need a bit of surgery to repair, fractured arms, two broken ribs and a concussion, and there is just one small other problem that may escalate into something worse.”

     “Which is?” Harry persisted, and even though Zayn wasn’t looking he could just tell that he was clutching onto Louis’ hand for dear life.

     “When Mr Horan was awake earlier for testing, we were asking him about himself,” She sighed, looking down at Niall and then to the doctor opposite her. “And it seems like he’s lost quite a lot of his memory. He doesn’t remember anything.”


End file.
